“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” ~Pema Chodron
You know that foreboding fear we all have—that something will go terribly wrong and life will never be the same again?
Well, I always wanted to be an Entrepreneur and my parents wanted me to be an Engineering Graduate. A couple of months back I was admitted to one of those college. I tried to convince them but nothing was going in the way I wanted it to go. Then one day they blamed me for smoking a cigar, gambling etc, well that was just because I took some bad decisions while making friends. I tortured myself with fear that why was this happening to me?
I was frustrated, depressed and I even thought of running away. I couldn't help thinking that 'Right now My life sucks'.
And this wasn't the first time I'd thought that.
A few years back, I'd felt much worse when my life had no goal!
And before that when my best-friend was lost to insomnia and depression and wouldn't take any calls.
And when my high school result wouldn't be satisfying.
And a million more times.
Every single one of us has these moments. It’s just the way life is. It’s what we do in those moments that matters.
For the better part of my life, I've felt flustered and incapable of handling these moments. Over time, I feel like I've figured out a few things that I can start doing to bounce back.
I'm sharing these with the hope that some of you will find them as useful as I do,
1) REPLACE ""WHY ME?"" with ""WHAT NEXT?""
Its natural; when things go wrong, one of the first thought is likely to be; "why me?"
Here’s the thing though—“Why me?” is a weakening phrase. It only serves to increase our feeling of victimhood and makes us feel incapable of dealing with the situation.
By intentionally catching ourselves thinking “Why me?” and replacing it with “What next?” we not only gain back a feeling of control, but also figure out what we can actually do.
Rather than screaming, 'Why me? Can I please catch a break?' I'd try convincing myself to face it off.
2) Force yourself to practice Gratitude.
Rhonda Byrne the author of the famous book The Secret published one of its sister books The Magic. The first chapter of that book was to count your blessings.
Well, it is hard to feel grateful when you are dealt a blow—no matter how big or small it is.
I was devastated when the people I care the most were blaming me for things I hadn't. Every time I was asked whether I was a smoker. I'd thank I was lucky enough as it was just about smoking not dealing with drugs. I practically forced myself to practice gratitude.
3) Quit Blaming.
When you’re hurt, it is equally natural to look for someone to blame.
In my case, I was tempted to blame myself, my friends, God, parents, and so on.
But blame only serves to prolong the hurt. It makes it harder to let things go. It makes us angry and corrodes us from the inside. It brings negativity into our life.
So just stop.
If something is meant to be, it will happen. That’s it. Deal with it and move on.
4) Don't give in to Fear and Despair.
This is a tough one. It’s so much easier to just give in and surrender to the fear and grief. But we need to stand tall—even when we feel two feet too short.
It was very hard for me to mask my worries from my friends and family and project confidence. But I’m so glad I did.
Back then, for a while, I’d actually started to wonder if something was wrong. The foreboding fear that was my constant companion kept telling me that something bad was going on.
But slowly, fear gained from my projected confidence and grew more confident herself. And got back to its business.
And my worries started to fizzle.
When it comes to fear and despair, you have to fake it till you make it. And, sooner or later, you will make it.
5) Never give up.
No matter where you’re at or what you’re going through, don’t give up. Try just one more thing; maybe it’s just the thing that will resolve it for you.
It ain’t over, until it’s over.
No comments:
Post a Comment